Legal Warfare


Lawyers love a legal war
Though never hold a gun
But war is an ignoble whore
Exposing every human flaw
Warmongers? Never seen one poor
Such profitable fun.

It’s just a game the Generals play
No game is truly odder
You can’t have peace, not every day
Not with Warfare in the way
The Top Brass justify their pay
Commanding cannon-fodder.

The enemy was at your front
You looked him in the eye
But General Fud’s a cunning stunt
Who lets his soldiers take the brunt
Of every underhanded dunt
From tossers up on high.

Your back is naked soldier boy
You’re losing loads of blood
The knife that stabbed you: just a ploy
The press cannot conceal their joy
You shot the bastard, don’t be coy
Hoorah for General Fud!

Let’s keep the fighting nice and clean
All playing by the rules
We cannot broadcast such a scene
Our soldiers killing for the Queen
With reckless shows of rage and spleen
The mad impetuous fools.

The higher-ups are hypocrites
Their disingenuous words
Are truly getting on my tits
They tell us lies and think us twits
Mendacious narrative that fits
The polishing of turds.

They give themselves such pompous airs
Our enemies are bound
To find our morals better theirs
It’s murder, so the General swears
They’d fight for you, but no one dares
Tread this immoral ground.

Your story has a rancid smell
Hypocrisy and scheming
So as you fester in your cell
Remember all your friends who fell
And say, “By God, I shot him well
To stop the bugger screaming”