Scottish Midgie Soup

I eat Scottish Midgies
I catch them in a net
I eat them one by one by one
To make the others sweat.

Or sometimes, if I’m in the mood
My mode of midgie slaughter
Is making lovely midgie soup
In a pan of boiling water.

You can eat them fricasseed
Or you can eat them raw
You can eat a trillion
And there’ll be a trillion more.

I’m usually vegetarian
So you may think this at odds
But when it’s midgie season
I can’t resist the little sods.

I eat ‘em ‘cos they’re protein
And I eat ‘em ‘cos they’re free
But mostly I just eat them
‘Cos they do the same to me!


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