Mulbert writes poems, they rhyme and they’re quirky
He tries not to sit on the fence
His writing is droll, and his outlook is perky
And most of his stories make sense.

If you’d like him to write one especially for you
For a colleague about to retire
Or for hen parties, birthdays, or any old do
Just name your poetic desire.

You can give him one word, such as mongoose or snood
If you’re not so much bothered by plot
Or tell him an anecdote, wholesome or rude
And he’ll write you a rhyme in a jot.

And the best thing of all is the reasonable price
A paltry and trifling fee
It’s just four pounds per line (a sum quite precise)
Which includes the old VAT.

And what’s furthermore, this poet’s for hire
To perform at your party or bash
Like an old-fashioned minstrel, he’ll come to your shire
For a pint and a small pile of cash.