{"id":121,"date":"2015-12-21T17:57:33","date_gmt":"2015-12-21T17:57:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/?p=121"},"modified":"2015-12-21T23:15:10","modified_gmt":"2015-12-21T23:15:10","slug":"drowning-in-the-water-of-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/?p=121","title":{"rendered":"Drowning In The Water Of Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Drowning<\/a><\/p>\n

a long time ago in the time of the hippy
\na wee small boy who was mostly happy
\nwas sent to school where he was told
\naged only five
\nthat he needed “a rocket up his backside”
\njust a figure of speech you understand
\nno firework insertion was really planned.<\/p>\n

on the face of it the boy was bright
\nhe could read and he could write
\nbefore attending any schools
\nand though he had these useful skills
\nhis teachers (who should get a mention)
\ndemanded much of his attention
\nand asked him every single day
\n“you boy! what did I just say?”
\na dastardly and cunning ploy
\nto snare the inattentive boy.<\/p>\n

the boy thought this a horrid ruse
\nthis academic subterfuge
\nfor no one said there would be questions
\nif they had asked him for suggestions
\nhe would have told them to forego
\nthese tests of what a boy should know.<\/p>\n

the truth is most of what they taught
\nwas lost in waves of idle thought
\nhis ceaseless inner monologue
\nmade learning stuff a tiresome slog
\nthen at the end of every term
\nthey’d send reports to make him squirm
\nand sadly the accompanying letter
\nwould say the boy “could do much better”
\nalthough in fact this wasn’t so
\nit wasn’t that the boy was slow
\nit’s just he had a certain pace
\nfor life is long: it’s not a race
\nand one way or another friend
\nwe cannot help but reach the end.<\/p>\n

the boy has grown to like his brain
\n(it would be futile to complain)
\nit entertains him day and night
\nas neurons randomly ignite
\na stream of consciousness whose sparks
\nare fuelled by overactive quarks.<\/p>\n

that’s just a theory by the way
\nwhat causes it? well who can say
\nand if the boy had just one wish?
\nhe’d prob’bly choose a Babel fish
\nor some other memory aid
\nthough brains are tricky to upgrade
\nthey don’t have an expansion slot
\nyou do the best with what you’ve got.<\/p>\n

a theory which may yet be proved
\nif his memory were improved
\nthe boy might lose his inner voice
\nwhich seems to be the Devil’s choice
\nhis brain is set on constant shuffle
\nan inner monologue kerfuffle
\nwhich drives him crazy: keeps him sane
\nbut let’s be frank and make it plain
\nto him his daydreaming is cool
\nalthough not valued much at school
\n“you boy, what did I just say?”
\nthat’s what they asked him every day.<\/p>\n

don’t rush the ruminating boys
\nprotect them from extraneous noise
\nthey’ll get there – just a little later
\ndon’t cram their heads with endless data
\nthat’s what the internet is there for
\ncreativity is therefore
\nsimpler with a broadband router
\nsmart phone, tablet, or computer.<\/p>\n

the boy is in his fifties now
\nbeen married over thirty years
\nhis wife still sends him to the shops
\nto buy comestibles and beers.<\/p>\n

when buying two items or fewer
\nfrom the baker or the brewer
\nthe boy will mostly get the gist
\nbut more than that requires a list.<\/p>\n

his true love is a patient soul
\nshe knows his foibles and his quirks
\nand circumvents them on the whole
\na strategy that sometimes works.<\/p>\n

and he is grateful; he is glad
\nhis ever loving, caring wife
\nknows exactly how his mind is
\n(he hopes it doesn’t cause her strife)
\nwithout her he’d have lost his marbles
\nthis disorder’s running rife
\nwithout her he’d have drowned for sure
\na long time ago in the water of life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

a long time ago in the time of the hippy a wee small boy who was mostly happy was sent to school where he was told aged only five that he needed “a rocket up his backside” just a figure of speech you understand no firework insertion was really planned. on the face of it … Continue reading Drowning In The Water Of Life<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[26,8,24,27,25,7],"class_list":["post-121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-babel-fish","tag-comic-verse","tag-daydreaming","tag-inner-monologue","tag-mulbert","tag-poems"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6zOwV-1X","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/121","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=121"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/121\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":129,"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/121\/revisions\/129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}