Doctor oh Doctor please give me a pill
\nI think I’m allergic to life
\nI’m just out of sorts a bit, not really ill
\nBut the sorts that I’m out of are rife.<\/p>\n
My blood pressure’s up: in fact way off the chart
\nThe thought of it’s making me loco
\nAnd naturally I am concerned for my heart
\nSo I’m swallowing garlic and cocoa.<\/p>\n
I’ll take a few statins, Doc, valium too
\nAnd a spliff of your premium weed
\nSome uppers to pop in my vegetable stew
\nAnd Viagra in case I have need.<\/p>\n
And something with codeine to nullify pain
\nThere’s a disc in my back gives me trouble
\nCould you increase the dosage and add some cocaine
\nAnd my bong needs tobacco to bubble.<\/p>\n
I’m self-medicating: my life is a mess
\nThough in truth I have not much to fear
\nBut there’s nowt like a drink for relieving the stress
\nPraise the Lord for the wine and the beer.<\/p>\n
The war on drugs saved us: hoorah! for the war
\nNo Tom, Dick or Harry can sell ’em
\nI’m joking, of course, it’s much worse than before
\nThere was never such choice, antebellum.<\/p>\n
One day very soon, we’ll dispense with all food
\nIn favour of twice daily Soma
\nAnd we’ll all go about in a fabulous mood
\nOr a blind pharmaceutical coma.<\/p>\n