{"id":390,"date":"2021-03-22T18:46:59","date_gmt":"2021-03-22T18:46:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/?p=390"},"modified":"2021-03-22T20:31:14","modified_gmt":"2021-03-22T20:31:14","slug":"an-advertisement-for-the-job-of-home-secretary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/?p=390","title":{"rendered":"AN ADVERTISEMENT FOR THE JOB OF HOME SECRETARY"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse has-text-align-center\">Here is a job for some kind hearted soul\nHome Secretary of Blighty\nTo keep the Queen\u2019s peace is the principle role\nYou can do it on Zoom in your nightie.\n\nWe welcome diversity, all can apply\u00a0\nAnd we don\u2019t really care what your age is\nYou can lubricate contracts for some of your chums\nTo give a wee boost to your wages.\n\nYou could reinstate hanging for murderous scum\nAnd poets with socialist leanings\nOr bring them to heal with some stripes on the bum\nTo ensure they take heed of your meaning.\n\nA hostile environment\u2019s probably best\nTo deter folk seeking asylum\nIt\u2019ll help get the prejudice off of your chest\nYou\u2019re British and this is your Island.\n\nThen what fun you will have deporting the poor\nIt\u2019s their fault for being plebeian\nYou can put \u2018em on planes heading west by the score\n\u2018Back\u2019 to the old Caribbean.\n\nIf your minions annoy you or dare disobey\nOr even just get on your titty\nYou can shout in their faces \u201cJUST DO AS I SAY\nI\u2019M THE BOSS AND THIS AIN\u2019T A COMMITTEE!\u201d\n\nThere is one final thing, just a tiny request\nAnd we should have said this at the start\nDo you think you\u2019d object if we looked in your chest\nJust to check that you don\u2019t have a heart.\n\n<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here is a job for some kind hearted soul Home Secretary of Blighty To keep the Queen\u2019s peace is the principle role You can do it on Zoom in your nightie. We welcome diversity, all can apply\u00a0 And we don\u2019t really care what your age is You can lubricate contracts for some of your chums &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/?p=390\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">AN ADVERTISEMENT FOR THE JOB OF HOME SECRETARY<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-390","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6zOwV-6i","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/390","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=390"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/390\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":396,"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/390\/revisions\/396"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mulbert.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}