There\u2019s lots of feline research at
\nThe University of Cats
\nWhere students study for degrees
\nIn why it is that cats climb trees
\nAnd other fascinating facts
\nPertaining to domestic cats.<\/p>\n
The University is tall
\nSixty storeys all in all
\nAnd every year new students come
\nWith vats of wine and kegs of rum
\nTins of beans and great ambition
\nBut little thought of good nutrition.<\/p>\n
The man in charge, Professor Klutz
\n(Who some think is completely nuts)
\nSpends all his time on feline studies
\nWith all his little student buddies
\nAnd thus he learned through trial and blunder
\nA thing of scientific wonder.<\/p>\n
He gathered stray unwanted cats
\nFrom rubbish tips and empty flats
\nAnd from under unkempt hedges
\nThen shoved them off the window ledges
\nTo watch them plummet to the street
\nAnd film them landing on their feet.<\/p>\n
From seventh floor to fifty five
\nThe cats would always land alive
\nAnd likewise floors from one to three
\nResulted in no injury
\nBut storeys four and five and six
\nAnd every mezzanine betwixt
\nTo Klutz\u2019s evident surprise
\nWould cause a falling cat\u2019s demise.<\/p>\n
From seventh floor and up, the cat
\nWhen falling makes his body flat
\nThus slowing his velocity
\nPreventing an atrocity
\nThis evolutionary feat
\nLands him safely on his feet.<\/p>\n
This fact, of course, is common knowledge
\nAnd needs no dedicated college
\nBut Klutz asserts his method works
\nAlthough in truth he likes the perks
\nAnd among his daft excuses
\nHe says his work “may have its uses”.<\/p>\n
This cruel and heartless research shows
\nThe University should close
\nProtestors and some angry vets
\nNow catch the cats in great big nets
\nBut Klutz (his moral compass lacking)
\nDemands increased financial backing
\nHe’s asked his primary investors
\nFor “stink bombs to disperse protestors”
\nNot the worst thing he was plannin’
\nHe had requested water cannon.<\/p>\n
The means may justify the ends
\nHe likes to entertain his friends
\nAnd all the dignitaries he meets
\nWith parties in the penthouse suites
\nWhere student girls in small bikinis
\nAdorn the pool and drink martinis
\nKlutz gives them all a generous bursary
\nThe academic checks are cursory.<\/p>\n
Please refrain from dropping cats
\nOut of planes or blocks of flats
\nAnd if this was your alma mater
\nPlease share you findings and your data
\nProfessor Klutz is quite insane
\nLet no more pussies die in vain.<\/p>\n
[wp_ad_camp_1]<\/p>\n
________________________________________<\/p>\n
Find more comic verse in cards, booklets and CD format at<\/strong> www.printregister.com<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There\u2019s lots of feline research at The University of Cats Where students study for degrees In why it is that cats climb trees And other fascinating facts Pertaining to domestic cats. The University is tall Sixty storeys all in all And every year new students come With vats of wine and kegs of rum Tins … Continue reading The University Of Cats<\/span>